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Today, I'll coach you on preventing learned helplessness in your students so they can develop their executive function skills and launch into the world prepared for the challenges of adulthood.
What is learned helplessness in students?
Learned helplessness is a trait that develops when students lose access to skills over time because they have not been appropriately challenged or supported.
This leads them to rely on others to solve problems or complete tasks for them rather than taking executive ownership over challenges.
As a result, they begin to doubt their abilities, avoid taking risks, and struggle with tasks they could otherwise manage with the right encouragement or guidance.
In many ways, learned helplessness is the opposite of executive function skills.
How does learned helplessness develop?
Learned helplessness can develop in school or at home when students cannot access opportunities to be appropriately challenged.
Here are some things that parents may say to themselves while parenting, not realizing they are fostering learned helplessness:
"I don't want them to feel stressed."
A parent might step in to finish a student’s science project the night before it’s due, thinking it will save them stress, but this prevents the student from learning time management and responsibility.
This might look like:
Packing their school bag instead of letting them take responsibility.
Cleaning up dishes or their mess rather than having them do it.
Natural consequences are a gift that life creates to teach missing skills. When parents prevent these consequences from occurring, they hinder executive skill development.
"I'll just do it myself."
Instead of allowing their teen to figure out how to organize study materials for exams, a parent might create a study plan for them.
This might look like:
Managing their calendar and activities, when they could start planning their own time.
Handling laundry duties when they are old enough to learn and do it themselves.
While this might feel like helping, there will come a day when the student needs to be prepared without support from parents, and if they are robbed of these opportunities too frequently, those preparation skills will not develop.
"They won't get into (insert college name) if I don't help!"
Worried that poor grades might impact college applications, a parent might repeatedly intervene by writing essays or redoing assignments for their child.
While this may lead to a short-term gain of access to UC Berkeley or Brown, the inappropriate placement will eventually lead to despair and overwhelm for a student who lacks the executive function skills necessary to succeed with reduced supports.
How does learned helplessness occur in the school environment?
In the school setting, learned helplessness may develop if:
Students are not encouraged to solve problems on their own,
If they are assisted too quickly when faced with challenges,
Or if their work is consistently corrected or completed for them without the opportunity to improve themselves.
This can especially be an issue for students with special needs when well-intentioned educators lower expectations rather than increasing support.
If you are a proactive parent or educator ready to defeat learned helplessness and prepare your students for life in the real world, here is how you can help:
How to prevent learned helplessness in your student
To help your students or children develop strong executive function skills, try these strategies:
Think "out loud"
Thinking out loud or using declarative language to model your problem-solving processes in front of your children can teach them a lot.
For example, when faced with a challenge, verbalize your thought process:
"I need to figure out how to organize my schedule. First, I'll list my tasks, then prioritize them."
This approach provides children with a framework for tackling their own challenges and helps them see how a mature mind operates.
To dig deeper into declarative language, check out my guide and interview with Linda K. Murphy here.
Prompt, don't do it for them
If your child is struggling with homework, guide them to break the task into smaller, manageable parts rather than completing it for them.
Use a system of least prompts to nudge children towards completing tasks independently.
For example, ask guiding questions like, "What do you think you should do next?" or "How can you solve this problem?"
Sometimes, helping them sustain attention on a difficult task is all the support they need.
Know what is age-appropriate
Knowing what is age-appropriate for your student is key to helping them build independence.
Understanding what they are capable of—like managing their own assignments or solving problems on their own—can guide you when they express frustration or start to whine.
It’s tempting to step in and do things for them, but having a clear sense of their abilities will remind you that this struggle is part of their learning process, and it’s important to let them work through challenges.
Check out our detailed guide on this to calibrate your expectations:
Summary
Help your students develop the executive function skills they need to succeed and thrive by challenging them in age-appropriate ways. Here are three ways you can start today:
Verbalize your problem-solving skills for them to hear
Make small requests that nudge them toward action
Get clear on what is developmentally appropriate for them
Hope this helps 🤙🏻
P.S. These are skills that executive function coaches work on with their students. If you want to try working on them with your students, consider joining hundreds of other educators and parents who have completed my Semester Success Blueprint Course. In less than 2 hours, this comprehensive course will teach you and your student the system I developed to help hundreds of students learn how to manage school effectively and raise their self-awareness and engagement with school.
About Me

Hey! I'm Sean 👋
I'm a former public school special education teacher who realized that executive function skills are more important than knowing when George Washington crossed the Potomac.
Since then, I've made it my mission to teach anyone who will listen about how to develop these key life skills.
In 2020, I founded Executive Function Specialists to ensure all students with ADHD and Autism have access to high-quality online executive function coaching services. We offer online EF coaching and courses to help students and families.
Realizing I could only reach so many people through coaching, in 2021 I started the Executive Function Coaching Academy which trains schools, educators, and individuals to learn the key strategies to improve executive function skills for students.
In 2023, I co-founded of UpSkill Specialists, to provide neurodivergent adults with high-quality executive function coaching services.
When not pursuing my passions through work, I love spending time with my family, getting exercise, and expanding my brain through reading. You can connect with me on LinkedIn.