5 Key Questions to Ask When Choosing Between a Therapist or Executive Function Coach for Your Child with ADHD
Updated: Sep 23
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Watching your child struggle can leave you wondering if you’re getting them the right kind of help.
In this post, I break down the difference between therapy and executive function coaching so you can decide which support best fits your student’s needs.👇
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Missing assignments.
Too overwhelmed to start their homework.
Talking back when I try to help them...
Does my child need a therapist or executive function coach??
Many parents struggle with this question, especially since therapy and executive function coaching can be costly and require a weekly time commitment.
Additionally, many therapists wonder when to refer to an executive function coach.
In this article, I'll help you think through these concerns so you can make the most informed choice.👇
What is the difference between therapy and executive function coaching?
Therapy and executive function coaching serve different purposes for teens and tweens with ADHD.
Therapy focuses on addressing emotional and psychological challenges, such as anxiety, depression, or emotional regulation.
For example, a teen who melts down during exams or struggles with low self-esteem might work with a therapist to develop coping strategies and manage their stress.
In contrast, executive function coaching is action-oriented and helps students build practical skills like time management, organization, and planning.
An EF coach might help a student who consistently forgets to turn in their work by setting up systems for tracking assignments and breaking tasks into manageable steps.
Therapy helps students manage emotions, while coaching teaches them how to apply strategies for success in everyday life.
The overlap between executive function coaching and therapy lies in their shared goal of helping students improve functioning in daily life.
Both can address challenges like stress management and emotional regulation, but therapy focuses on deeper emotional issues, while EF coaching concentrates on practical, skill-based solutions.
What mistakes do parents make when choosing an executive function coach instead of a therapist?
Here are a couple common mistakes parents make:
Thinking an EF coach can address emotional issues
Coaching focuses on building skills, not resolving deeper emotional challenges such as:
Anxiety
Depression
Emotional distress
Childhood trauma
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
While coaching can often improve confidence, self-esteem, and reduce symptoms related to emotional issues, if a student's core issue is emotional, rather than organizational, executive function will not be a good fit.
Working against the EF coach
Another mistake parents make is unintentionally hindering their child’s progress.
If a parent is overbearing or creates stress at home or through their communication, it can undo the work done during coaching sessions. This might look like:
Parents sending upset messages using ALL CAPITAL LETTERS
Complaining or venting about their student's lack of progress
Pressuring their child to be more productive with statements like, "We are spending so much money on this!"
No amount of coaching can help if a child is constantly stressed or triggered between sessions.
Executive function coaching is most effective when parents are active partners and are grateful to have a partner to support their child.
Parents who find value in EF coaching learn to reinforce the strategies the coach is teaching within the home and support their child’s efforts to develop new skills.
When parents and coaches collaborate, students are much more likely to experience long-term success.
How to decide if your student needs coaching or therapy
Here are five key questions to help you decide whether your student needs an executive function coach, a therapist, or both:
1. Is your student struggling with emotional regulation, anxiety, or depression?
If your teen becomes easily overwhelmed by stress during exams or has frequent emotional outbursts when assignments pile up, therapy may be the better choice.
A therapist can help your child manage these emotional challenges by developing coping and self-regulatory skills, which usually need to be addressed before skill-building can be effective.
2. Are executive function skills, such as organization and time management, the main challenge?
If your teen constantly forgets assignments, misses deadlines, or struggles to manage their time, an executive function coach can help.
Coaches work with students to create systems for keeping track of homework, planning projects, and staying organized.
If this is the case, your student may benefit from working with an executive function coach at EF Specialists.
3. Is there a need for BOTH emotional and practical support?
Some students may need help in both areas.
For example, a teen who struggles with social pressures and feels overwhelmed may benefit from seeing a therapist for emotional support, while working with a coach to develop strategies for balancing schoolwork and extracurricular activities.
Working with both at the same can be costly, so it may be wise to explore asking your school for an assessment to determine if your child qualifies for special education services that would provide both therapy and executive function coaching.
4. Is your student’s progress being hindered by stress at home?
If a student shows progress during coaching sessions but regresses due to family stress or conflict, family therapy might be needed to help address those issues.
Therapy can help both the student and the family work through emotional challenges that are interfering with progress so that everyone can receive more value from the coaching process when the time is right.
5. Are you, as the parent, ready to be an active partner in the process?
Coaching works best when parents actively support the strategies their child is learning.
If parents are willing to reinforce routines and help their child stay on track, coaching can be a highly effective solution.
If you think that you are just going to "drop off" your child at coaching and problems will magically disappear, EF coaching is not a good fit.
The bottom line
Start supporting your student's unique needs by asking the questions above and assessing where they struggle most. Once you've done this, you can make an informed decision and test your hypothesis without breaking the bank.
If you are ready to get started, try these steps:
Understand the difference between therapy and coaching by doing research.
Determine if your student's needs are primarily emotional or organizational.
If your child needs emotional support, interview prospective therapists.
If your child needs organizational support, interview prospective coaches.
Find a way to actively support your child in either route.
Re-evaluate your plan after 12 weeks of support.
If you think your student would benefit from executive function coaching, click here to learn more about student coaching at EF Specialists.
Hope this helps 🤙🏻
FAQs
Can my child work with both a therapist and an executive function coach?
Yes, some students benefit from receiving emotional support from a therapist while also building practical skills with an executive function coach. When both professionals understand their roles and communicate appropriately, the two services can complement each other well.
How long should I try executive function coaching before deciding if it is working?
Give coaching enough time for your child to practice new systems, build routines, and develop greater independence, which often takes several months. Look for gradual improvements in organization, follow-through, communication, and your child’s ability to solve problems with less adult support.
What should I do if I am still unsure whether my child needs therapy or executive function coaching?
Start by identifying whether your child’s biggest barriers are primarily emotional or related to skills such as planning, organization, and task initiation. You can also speak with your child’s pediatrician, therapist, school team, or prospective coach to help determine which type of support best matches their needs.
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P.S. If you want to work on executive function skills with your students, consider joining hundreds of other educators and parents who have completed my Semester Success Blueprint Course. In less than 2 hours, this comprehensive course will teach you and your student the system I developed to help hundreds of students learn how to manage school effectively and raise their self-awareness and engagement with school.
About Me
Hey! I'm Sean 👋
I'm a former public school special education teacher who realized that executive function skills are more important than knowing when George Washington crossed the Potomac.
Since then, I've made it my mission to teach anyone who will listen about how to develop these key life skills.
In 2020, I founded Executive Function Specialists to ensure all students with ADHD and Autism have access to high-quality online executive function coaching services. We offer online EF coaching and courses to help students and families.
Realizing I could only reach so many people through coaching, in 2021 I started the Executive Function Coaching Academy which trains schools, educators, and individuals to learn the key strategies to improve executive function skills for students.
In 2023, I co-founded of UpSkill Specialists, to provide neurodivergent adults with high-quality executive function coaching services.
When not pursuing my passions through work, I love spending time with my family, getting exercise, and growing my brain through reading. You can connect with me on LinkedIn.
Want me to speak on executive function skills at your event? Learn more about my speaking topics here.