6 Ways to Use Declarative Language With Your Child
- Sean McCormick
- Apr 3, 2023
- 6 min read
Updated: Nov 5
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Declarative language helps children build executive function skills by shifting communication from commands to information and reflection.
In this post, you’ll learn how to use declarative language to strengthen your child’s decision-making, problem-solving, and independence.👇
Table of Contents
Imagine a parent trying to convince their child to eat more vegetables.
Instead of simply commanding the child to eat, the parent takes a clever approach using declarative language:
"Did you know, sweetie, that broccoli is actually a mini tree that gives you superhero strength when you eat it? And carrots? They're special orange sticks that help you see better in the dark, just like a ninja!"
By creatively using declarative language to convey the benefits of vegetables, the parent not only captures the child's attention but also encourages them to make healthier choices.
Hopefully, this example highlights the power of declarative language as a tool to engage, inform, and influence, even in everyday situations.
This is just a small taste of the potential that declarative language holds in nurturing executive function skills and shaping success.
Using these practical strategies, real-life applications, and expert insights, you can harness the full potential of declarative language in fostering cognitive development and unlocking a brighter future for the young minds in your life.
What is Declarative Language, and How Does it Differ From Imperative Language?
Declarative language, a vital aspect of communication, refers to the use of statements that convey: facts, information, or knowledge.
This form of language is distinct from other types, such as interrogative, imperative, or exclamatory language, which:
pose questions
issue commands
express strong emotions
Declarative language plays a crucial role in our daily conversations and written communication, as it helps us share information and build understanding.
Conversely, imperative language refers to commands, requests, or instructions that direct someone to perform a specific action.
While imperative language can be effective in certain situations, excessive or inappropriate use may damage parent-child relationships.
Here are some examples of each.👇
Declarative Language (statements of fact, information, or opinion):
The capital of France is Paris.
I love reading science fiction novels.
Elephants are the largest land animals on Earth.
Imperative Language (commands or requests):
Please pass the salt.
Open the door.
Don't forget to water the plants.
If you prefer a video on this topic, check out this video below with Linda K. Murphy on how to use declarative language.
Constantly issuing commands can make children feel as though they lack control over their lives and decisions, which may result in feelings of resentment or rebellion, undermining the trust and bond between parent and child.
Overusing imperative language can hinder the development of a child's problem-solving skills, as they may become reliant on their parents to provide solutions rather than learning to think critically and independently.
Balancing the use of imperative language with more supportive and nurturing communication styles can foster healthier parent-child relationships and promote children's cognitive and emotional development.
6 Ways to Use Declarative Language With Your Child
Parents can use declarative language to improve their children's decision-making skills by clearly communicating information, providing guidance, and encouraging thoughtful discussions.
Here are some examples of how parents can leverage declarative language to support the development of decision-making skills in their children:
1. Discussing consequences
Parents can use declarative language to explain the potential outcomes of different choices, helping children understand the cause-and-effect relationship between decisions and consequences.
For example, a parent might say,
"If you don't finish your homework now, you might have to stay up late to complete it, and you'll be tired tomorrow."
2. Encouraging problem-solving
Parents can present problems or dilemmas to their children and use declarative language to outline possible solutions.
For instance, a parent could say,
"You can either save your allowance for a larger toy or spend it now on a smaller one."
This approach enables children to weigh the pros and cons of each option and make informed decisions.
3. Sharing personal experiences
Parents can use declarative language to share their own experiences and the lessons they've learned.
For example, a parent might share,
"When I was your age, I chose to join the school band, and it helped me make new friends and develop my musical skills."
This provides valuable insights that children can apply to their decision-making process.
4. Modeling decision-making
Parents can demonstrate effective decision-making by verbalizing their thought processes using declarative language.
For instance, a parent could say,
"I need to decide whether to cook dinner at home or order takeout. Cooking at home is healthier and saves money, but ordering takeout is quicker and more convenient."
This approach allows children to observe and learn from their parents' decision-making strategies.
5. Asking open-ended questions
Parents can use declarative language to pose open-ended questions that prompt children to think critically about their decisions.
For example, a parent might ask,
"What factors are most important to you when choosing which after-school activity to participate in?"
6. Providing constructive feedback
Parents can offer feedback on their children's decisions using declarative language, helping them learn from their choices and improve their decision-making skills over time.
For instance, a parent could say,
"I noticed that you decided to study for your test early, and it paid off with a better grade. Keep up the good work!"
By incorporating declarative language into their interactions with their children, parents can create a supportive environment that fosters the development of strong decision-making skills.
What Are Other Resources That Can Help Me Learn How to Use Declarative Language?
The Declarative Language Handbook is an indispensable resource for parents and educators looking to teach executive function skills, as it offers comprehensive guidance, strategies, and practical examples for effectively using declarative language.
It provides a solid theoretical foundation, helping users appreciate the impact of declarative language on cognitive development.
The handbook also offers age-appropriate strategies, ensuring that the techniques are suitable for children at different developmental stages.
With real-life examples and case studies, plus tips and suggestions for addressing challenges that may arise while implementing these strategies, The Declarative Language Handbook is a practical, user-friendly resource for enhancing children's executive function skills.
FAQs
Why is declarative language better than giving directions or commands?
Declarative language encourages independence and problem-solving by inviting children to think, not just obey.
It reduces power struggles and helps kids feel respected and capable of making thoughtful choices.
Can I still use commands sometimes?
Yes. Imperative language has its place—especially for safety or urgency—but when used too often, it limits a child’s ability to reason and self-regulate.
Aim for a healthy balance where most interactions are declarative in tone.
How can I start using declarative language today?
Begin by swapping commands for observations or statements.
Instead of “Clean your room,” try “I notice your clothes are still on the floor,” or instead of “Do your homework,” say “It looks like you’re planning when to start your homework.”
These subtle shifts foster collaboration and self-awareness.
The Bottom Line
Declarative language improves decision-making skills by clearly communicating information, providing guidance, and encouraging thoughtful discussions.
To recap, here are the 6 ways you can use declarative language with your child:
Discussing consequences
Encouraging problem-solving
Sharing personal experiences
Modeling decision-making
Asking open-ended questions
Providing constructive feedback
Hope this helps 🤙🏻
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P.S. If you want to work on executive function skills with your students, consider joining hundreds of other educators and parents who have completed my Semester Success Blueprint Course. In less than 2 hours, this comprehensive course will teach you and your student the system I developed to help hundreds of students learn how to manage school effectively and raise their self-awareness and engagement with school.
About Me
Hey! I'm Sean 👋
I'm a former public school special education teacher who realized that executive function skills are more important than knowing when George Washington crossed the Potomac.
Since then, I've made it my mission to teach anyone who will listen about how to develop these key life skills.
In 2020, I founded Executive Function Specialists to ensure all students with ADHD and Autism have access to high-quality online executive function coaching services. We offer online EF coaching and courses to help students and families.
Realizing I could only reach so many people through coaching, in 2021 I started the Executive Function Coaching Academy which trains schools, educators, and individuals to learn the key strategies to improve executive function skills for students.
In 2023, I co-founded of UpSkill Specialists, to provide neurodivergent adults with high-quality executive function coaching services.
When not pursuing my passions through work, I love spending time with my family, getting exercise, and growing my brain through reading. You can connect with me on LinkedIn.
Want me to speak on executive function skills at your event? Learn more about my speaking topics here.